


Justin's Misguided Plight for Another Season

by Ways



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 18:34:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ways/pseuds/Ways
Summary: Just when you thought he couldn't get any worse, he does. Justin who begged Chris for another season took a joking, sarcastic comment seriously. Now he's annoying random cast members for the stupidest reasons possible.





	1. Idiots Take Things Literally

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever Total Drama fic and a really dumb parody I did back in 2014.

Chris McLean was sitting in his hot tub in his private room at Playa Des Losers. It really was good to be the host, with his own room he didn't have to deal with the idiot contestants between seasons. Even though he was currently supposed to be finding an island for the next season he figured that some TV executive would do it for him. After all, his job was to host the show, he didn't need to deal with stupid things like finding a stupid island. They'd just finished season 5, by now the producers should've known that he didn't take care of their stupid problems. Seeing as those people weren't worth his time he decided to lounge around and do pointless things like he was right now.

With a locked door, a hot tub and a smart TV life couldn't be any better.

BOOM!

Normally Chris wouldn't care about an explosion, with idiots like Harold, Owen and Lightning around they happened at least twice a week. However this explosion happened to be right at his doorstep.

Standing up he looked to see the remains of his locked door scattered all over his carpeted floor.

"What the hell?!" The mop headed host shouted. "Who did that?"

In stepped a tanned, muscular young Hawaiian man with clear ocean blue eyes and meticulously gelled dark brown hair, he wore a dark green tight shirt that showed off his muscles as well as plain blue skinny jeans, he was completely and utterly flawless without a blemish or boil to be seen.

"Justin," Chris sighed. "Did you blow up my wall?"

"Yes I did." Justin eagerly nodded. "Wasn't that very antagonistic of me?"

"What?" Chris asked, quite confused. "Okay first of all how in the hell do you know what the word antagonistic means and second of all why should I care?"

"Chris…" Justin sighed. "There comes a time in every man's life when-"

"I don't care about your stupid sex issues! So what if you can't get laid? That's not my problem!"

Justin furrowed his brow. "That wasn't what I meant. Besides, girls love me! Why just yesterday Lindsay and I-"

"Did she think you were Tyler?" Chris interjected.

"Shut up!" Justin cried. "Girls love me! They beg me to do things with them all the time."

"Justin, we don't count Katie, Sadie, Beth, Anne Maria and Stacy." Chris chastised the male model.

"This isn't what I wanted at all!" Justin cried.

"Fine…" Chris sighed. "What do you want?"

"I'm asking you why I wasn't in Total Drama All-Stars." Justin declared.

"You wanted to be in that shitty season?" Chris laughed.

"Yes!" Justin shouted. "I am so… All-Star material."

"Right…" Chris rolled his eyes. "And one day Stacy will win the million."

"Come on Chris!" Justin pleaded. "After my stellar performance in season 2 I should've at least been considered."

"There's a reason you weren't." Chris smirked. "You were the worst villain ever!"

"Are you kidding me?" Justin gasped, great disbelief shrouding his face.

"I had everyone eating out of the palm of my hand that season!" Justin shouted. "I made fifth place!"

"It was sixth place Justin, besides name one real strategic move you made." Chris corrected and challenged him.

"I made Gwen have our team vote off Trent and then made her throw the challenge only for her to get voted off." Justin smirked.

"Anyone could've done that, even DJ if he was feeling a little douchy." Chris brushed him off. At this point he wasn't even fully invested in the conversation he was busy trying to find a change of clothes so he could leave the playa to go anywhere else while Chef fixed his door.

"Well sixth place is enough!" Justin insisted.

"Why do you even care?" Chris asked him. "It was a shitty season and it's over."

"Then I should be in the next season," Justin pestered the host even more. "I'm not talking about that Pahkitew thing, I mean whatever the next season is."

"Total Drama the Matrix?" Chris asked. "Why would I want you running around my virtual world?"

"Because I'm sexy and who wouldn't want to watch more of me?" The model narcissistically commented as he flexed a bicep to further prove his point.

"The same people who left your fan base to go join Alejandro's." Chris laughed.

"What do I have to do to prove I'm good enough?" Justin asked.

"I guess if you could prove that you would actually be a decent villain and not contribute more crap to put the show further in the toilet than All-Stars did then I guess you could." Chris agreed, finally putting his pants on and trying to get out the door.

"How do I do that?" Justin asked.

"I don't know!" Chris shouted pushing him out of the way. "Get someone smart or evil to spit on you like Noah or Heather! Maybe it'll rub off on you?"

Chris then quickly ran out of the room leaving Justin to his thoughts.

Chris' offhanded comment made a lot of sense to him. Back when he was in school and not trapped at the playa he remembered something about PDA. Or was it STD? No, that was the weird thing that Lindsay told him that Mike had. DNA? Nah, that's stupid. No, it was PDA. PDA was in spit right? And if he could get Noah or Heather's or someone else's PDA then that would make him good enough for Chris' new season.

Now it was Justin's mission to try and get the smartest and or evilest contestants to spit on him so that he could become smart enough for this new season.


	2. Heather

Justin was walking around the playa thinking about PDA and how he was going to get it from people. He knew that getting people to spit on him was going to be difficult but there wasn't any other way he was going to get into another season.

After an entire day of thinking about it Justin finally figured out who he was going to use to get into season 7. The queen bee herself, Heather!

Currently Justin was in his forest green speedo stalking Heather and Alejandro from behind the bushes. Justin needed Heather alone for this to work so he had to wait for Alejandro to leave.

Much to Justin's chagrin Heather and Alejandro had been making out and making horribly OOC comments about how amazing the other was for about two hours straight. Justin sighed. He didn't really pay attention to Heather and Alejandro, but according to Owen –who stalked him constantly- that they'd been like this since All-Stars.

Finally Alejandro and Heather got up and left the pool and Justin being the master at espionage he was expertly followed them without being spotted. Not really, they saw him ten times but didn't pay any mind to it due to the fact that everyone around the playa were idiots and Justin was no exception to that.

Finally the two of them walked into Heather's room and shut the door behind them, not bothering to lock it.

Justin needed Heather alone and he wasn't sure how long it would take for Alejandro to leave her alone. So he waited outside the door and placed his ear against the door to listen to them carefully. However he didn't need to do that as the grunts, moans and gasps as well as the constant "mi amour's" that Alejandro would let out between their various noises were loud enough to hear in the hallway as it was. Justin didn't even care about the strange looks he was getting from Leshawna, DJ, B, Zoey and the many others that passed by as they watched him listen to this. It made perfect sense to Justin that he was listening to their loud sex. Of course the contestants that witnessed his attentive listening just thought he was a pervert, like Cody who would do it whenever Gwen was trying to molest Courtney.

Finally after twenty minutes Alejandro's voice rang out in the hall as he announced, "I had a great time with you Heather. But alas, now I must go and give Cameron that Spanish lesson he so desperately desires."

"Yeah, okay." Heather agreed. "Go help out that loser for an hour and then meet me at the hot tub after, ok?"

"But of course of mi amour." The Arch Villain replied.

Justin quickly hid behind a potted plant, once again showing off his great mastery of espionage. Alejandro opened the door now fully clothed and saw Justin's desperate attempt at hiding before rolling his eyes and leaving to find Cameron's room.

 _Oh yeah!_ Justin thought to himself. _I'm so good at this, I could be a secret agent!_

As soon as Alejandro was out of view he immediately walked into Heather's room. There he found the girl lying on top of her sheets completely naked and hadn't noticed that Justin had entered the room.

She was facing away from him and absentmindedly said. "You can get whatever you forgot and shut the door behind you, Alejandro."

"That's great." Justin smirked. "But I'm not Alejandro."

Heather turned and immediately her eyes widened when she saw the swimsuit clad male model. She quickly sprang under the covers before addressing him. "What the hell are you doing here Justin? Couldn't you have knocked first?"

"There's no need for such silly things Heather." Justin smirked. "Besides I'm here to give you a proposition."

Heather stood up while clutching the blanket and using it as a robe. "What could you possibly have that I want?" Heather asked him, still quite annoyed with the man's presence.

"Well, I'm hot…" Justin started. "And from what the thing in my pants is telling me so are you."

"Get to the point!" Heather demanded, trying to keep her gaze above his waist as she didn't want to know whether he was serious or not.

"Have you ever considered Justher?" He asked.

Heather laughed. "What the hell is Justher?"

"It's you and me in a relationship together! Think about it! We could be the best couple ever!" He explained.

"No thanks," She declined. "I've already have a really hot boyfriend who's a lot better looking than you."

"What?" Justin asked, completely flabbergasted by her revelation. He quickly gestured to his abs and chest. "Look at this! Clearly I am more attractive than Alejandro!"

"Impressive." Heather smirked. "But, nope. He's still hotter."

Justin pouted before continuing to try and convince the girl. "Well even if he may be better looking than me, we can still be together!"

"Why would I do that?" Heather asked him. "When have I ever shown any interest in you? In fact I got you voted out in season 1."

"Still…" Justin whined. "We could make it work."

Heather furrowed her brow. "No we couldn't."

"Would it change anything if I told you Alejandro was kissing Courtney yesterday?" Justin asked, quite hopeful.

"Not really." Heather scoffed. "Alejandro and I have a very open relationship."

"Then why can't I be a part of that open relationship?" Justin asked.

Heather laughed. "Like I said, I was never ever attracted to you."

"Fine…" Justin sighed. "I don't really want to be in a relationship, but can I at least have a kiss?"

"No!" Heather shouted. "You have a lot of nerve showing up here unannounced only to ask for a relationship you don't want! Screw off Justin!"

"Please just one kiss?" Justin asked. "It doesn't have to be long or anything just really sloppy and wet."

"Ew." Heather recoiled in disgust. "No way would I ever kiss you."

"Can you at least spit on me?!" Justin asked hopping she would at least agree to that.

"Why the hell are you so obsessed with my saliva?" Heather asked as she clearly figured out Justin's ploy.

Justin laughed. "I don't care about any saliva –whatever that is– I just want your spit!"

"Fine." Heather sighed, having enough of his stupidity for one day. "Why the hell are you so obsessed with my _spit_?"

"Well if you must know, Chris told me that I could be in season 7 if I could get you or someone else to spit on me. If you spit on me I'll have your PDA and then that'll mix with mine and make me all smart and or evil!" Justin explained, a big ass grin plastered on his face.

"That's really stupid." Heather deadpanned.

"No, it's not!" Justin whined. "I need your PDA to get in season 7. Please Heather!"

"Yes, yes it is." Heather growled. She then opened her door and shoved Justin out into the hallway while carefully making sure not to let the sheet she was using to cover herself didn't fall off, she didn't want some other loser who happened to be walking by to see her naked too. From within her room she addressed the downed model. "Justin, if you really want to get into season 7 I would strongly suggest using another strategy. Getting people to spit on you is not only gross but it's stupid."

"Come on, Heather!" The model whined. "Can you please just spit on me?"

"No." The queen bee answered before effectively slamming the door in front of him, this time making sure it was locked as to not get anymore unexpected visitors. "And it's DNA, Dumbass!"

Justin got up and sighed. Since Heather didn't work, he was going to have to try someone else. The only question was, who? This was going to be a lot harder than Justin thought it would be.


	3. Scott

"So will you give me your PDA now, Scott?" Justin asked as he held a screaming and flailing Scott over the edge of a piece of driftwood that he stood on. Underneath the farm boy was Fang who was eagerly doing all he could to try to get to his prey. Much like in the episode of All-Stars the shark was coming short and was instead sending the two of them who knows where.

"I told you! I don't have a PDA!" Scott shouted at the male model as he continued to make sure he was not devoured by the mutated shark below him.

"Silly Scott…" Justin smirked. "Everyone has PDA!"

"I don't!" Scott shouted. "If you really wanted someone with a PDA you should've tried Courtney!"

Justin laughed. "Why would I want Courtney's PDA? She's not good at the game!"

"Hello?!" Scott asked. "Seasons 2, 3 and 5 ring a bell? Season 2 she made forth place! Season 3 she made It past the merge! Season 5 she got fifth place! Hell, even in season 1 she probably would've gotten a high score or even won if she didn't get cheated out of the million by Harold!"

"That's nice and all…" Justin rolled his eyes, completely ignoring Scott's completely reasonable evaluation of Courtney's progression in her seasons of Total Drama. He returned to the young man desperately trying not to get eaten by the mutated shark, "I really don't care though! You're PDA sounds much better."

"Fine! Fine!" Scott finally agreed, still quite fearful for his life. "How do I give you my PDA?"

"Oh well all you gotta do is spit on me!" Justin grinned.

"Okay fine!" Scott shouted before he looked out and screamed.

Justin then noticed that they were going at very high speeds and were heading straight towards an island.

This island had large rolling hills and grassy fields, not only that but it also had smaller islands that they were passing that the three of them had somehow been able to ignore until now.

The three were now heading straight towards the shore of the island on their vessel. "Oh shit…" Justin let out under his breath.

CRASH!

The three landed on the island; Fang hit right into the sand and got a mouthful of it; Justin went flying off the piece of driftwood that broke apart and managed to let go of the stick that he was using to hold Scott as his arms were flailing; as for Scott he finally got off the stick as he was left flying through the air as well. The three face planted on the island, but were still conscious.

Justin was able to get up and somehow managed to come out completely unharmed. Justin then ripped the layer of protection that he had instilled over his skin. "Yes!" He exclaimed "I knew that wearing a layer of plastic wrap would protect me from anything that could possibly injure my beautiful face! And they said that my brain never actually did anything useful, shows them!"

Justin continued to make more narcissistic comments about how smart and beautiful he was and failed to notice the enraged red head that had been able to get up.

"You!" Scott, who was now sporting a few small cuts and bruises, shouted immediately cutting off Justin's self promotion. "You're the one who did this to us and now we're stuck on this stupid island!"

Justin eagerly nodded. "Yep, that was me. Can I have my PDA now?"

"NO!" Scott shouted, causing the male model to frown. "I'm not giving you shit! I was perfectly fine at the playa minding my own business in my room, before you barged in and somehow we ended up on that stupid piece of driftwood!"

"I know, genius plan right?" Justin asked.

"NO!" Scott yelled once more. "Now we're stuck on this stupid island!"

Scott continued ranting and as he continued he failed to notice the mutated shark that was advancing on him. The shark lightly tapped him on the shoulder, to which Scott replied with "Not now, Justin. I'm busy trying to teach Justin a lesson!" Fang rolled his eyes before he spun Scott around so that he faced him. Scott of course screamed before the shark ran off to chase him.

"Oh well…" Justin sighed, completely ignoring the redneck's cries for help. "I guess I won't be getting Scott's PDA today. Better call Chris to come and pick us up."

Justin then pulled out his cell phone and dialed the host's number. It wasn't very surprising that the host didn't answer. But his answering machine was very interesting. It said;

" _Hi, you have reached Chris McLean! I am currently unavailable right now as I'm busy watching twenty something sixteen year old girls have a pool party. Since I hope to sleep with one of them tonight don't call me back until tomorrow, bye!"_

Justin wasn't at all bothered at the fact that a thirty-something year old man –possibly older- wanted to have sex with minors and decided to call Chris again.

Once again Chris didn't answer his call. But of course because Justin was Justin he didn't recognize the fact that the host was ignoring him.

Justin decided to call again and got the same results.

Justin called the host five more times. Finally calling another time he got an answer.

" _Hi Justin!"_ Someone answered on the other end.

"Trent?" Justin asked surprised to hear the numerical cultist answer the phone.

" _Of course!"_ Trent answered. _"You called Chris' phone nine times and as my duty to the Ninth God I had to answer! Now let me tell you all the Wonderful things the Ninth God has done for us! For example, he created wonderful nine letter words like the word wonderful! You should repent now because on the ninth hour of any random day the Ninth God will come back and destroy the number ten and create the Kingdom of Nine! And imagine if you died! If you don't pledge your allegiance to the God of Nine then you will go to the place devoid of the number nine and you wouldn't want that! Let me tell you all the great things nine can do for you! Did you know that-"_

And that's when Justin hung up on the numerical cultist, clearly he had issues. Justin continued calling the host millions of time, every ninth time Trent answered to which he instantly hung up. Finally at the eighty-second time calling him, Chris finally answered.

"What the hell do you want Justin!?" The host asked angrily. "Didn't you listen to my voicemail!? I'm busy!"

"Yeah I did, but I don't care…" Justin laughed. "Scott and I are trapped on some random island and we can't get out."

"So?" Chris asked. "What do I care?"

Justin smirked. "Well I was going through my contract and I happened to notice that we're under your supervision. If I were to call one of Courtney's lawyers about what I'm doing here on some island then you'd be toast! What a shame it would be for the news to hear that you're getting sued by another contestant!"

"Fine," Chris grumbled. "I'll come pick the two of you up… Where the hell are you?"

Justin shrugged, despite Chris not being able to see it. "I don't know, some island somewhere near where Wawankwa used to be."

"Great… now I gotta spend my time searching through all these stupid islands just to find Scott and Justin…." The host grumbled before he finally hung up the phone.

So Justin waited and decided to watch Fang chase Scott around the island. Eventually he had gotten bored with that and decided to play games on his phone.

Finally three hours after he had called the host, a familiar red helicopter landed on the island in front of Justin.

Chris popped his head out of the helicopter and looked down at Justin. Seeing the young model Chef landed the chopper and Chris hopped out of it.

"Finally!" Chris shouted. "Do you know how long I've been looking for you two?"

"Um… three hours?" Justin asked.

"No, actually it was like 30 minutes. I was too busy partying with the girls to care." The host explained. "But that's not the point! Because of you, I had to leave Courtney in charge of the playa! Do you know what happens when you leave Courtney in charge?"

"No." Justin answered.

"Neither do I," Chris replied. "So we better head back there as soon as possible."

"Cool let's go!" Justin smiled, finally being free of the island.

"Hold it!" Chris shouted. "Where's Scott?"

Justin shrugged. "I don't know. Fang was chasing him a while ago and I got bored watching him, so I'm pretty sure he's dead."

"Whatever," Chris sighed. "Let's go."

"Yo Chris!" Chef shouted from the helicopter. "Have you seen this island? This'll be perfect for that Pahkitew shit that you're supposed to do!"

"Hey you're right!" Chris smiled. "Thank you Justin! Because of you now I can actually pretend that I looked at a bunch of Islands and chose this one!"

"Great, we can talk about it on the way back!" Justin insisted.

"Alright let's go!" Chris agreed. Like that the two of them squeezed into the passenger seat of the helicopter. They ever so slightly rose into the air, ready to return to Playa Des Losers.

"Wait!" A familiar voice shouted at them. Chris and Justin looked back to see Scott running towards them, Fang in tow.

Just as the helicopter was taking off Scott jumped and grabbed the landing gear of the helicopter. Now they were flying off the island leaving Fang shaking his fist at them.

Now in the air Scott shouted to Justin. "Pull me in! Pull me in!"

"Oh sorry," Justin shouted. "There isn't really enough room in the helicopter!"

"What?!" Scott shouted. "You better pull me in Justin, or so help me!"

Justin was about to sit comfortably in his seat before he remembered the real reason he came out here. "Oh by the way, have you thought about giving me some of your PDA yet?"

"NO!" Scott shouted. "I'm not giving you anything."

"Hey guys something's messing up our flight path." Chef announced. "We're almost at the Playa but we'll have trouble landing."

Chris nodded. "Okay, Chef. Justin, take care of it!"

Justin nodded before opening the door of the helicopter.

"Oh… thank you, Justin." Scott sighed in relief.

"No problem!" Justin nodded before stomping his foot on the farm boy's hand.

"OW!" Scott shouted. "What the hell was that for?!"

Justin ignored him and continued to stomp on Scott's hands until finally he let go.

Scott screamed until he safely landed in the water. He sighed in relief.

Justin, Chris and Chef safely landed their helicopter at Playa Des Losers and Justin left to try and think of someone else to try and get some PDA from. It was back to the drawing board.

**And that ends the third chapter of-**

"Hey, what about me?" Scott asked the author, thereby breaking the delicate balance of the fourth wall.

**What about you? I'm trying to do my ending authors note.**

"That's no far I need to have some sort of ending in this chapter!" Scott shouted.

**I thought falling off the helicopter was enough.**

Scott shook his head. "No, come on you gotta let me have some sort of ending! How about sex with Courtney? I haven't done that in a while."

 **Damn Screen hogs/Writer's Pets…** Ways grumbled. **You want an ending? Fine, but don't tell me how to write my story!**

"Thank you." Scott nodded.

However Scott didn't notice the shadow that was lurking in the seemingly still waters behind him. The mysterious figure slightly emerged from the water and that showed the dorsal fin of a shark slightly rise from the water. It quickly submerged though as Scott got a glimpse of it.

The farm boy began to shudder in fear. "W- W- Was that who I thought it was?"

Scott received no answer as the author simply didn't want to deal with his crap.

The shadow continued to circle Scott and he continued to look wide eyed but stayed as still as he possibly could.

"C-C- Come on Ways?" Scott pleaded. "I was only kidding! No need to go overkill on me!"

**You brought this upon yourself, Scott.**

Finally the shadow stopped right in front of him. The figure then slowly rose out of the water. It revealed itself to be none other than Scott's biggest fear…

"Fang!" Scott shouted in fear before he quickly swam away from the grinning shark. The shark grinned even bigger before chasing Scott who was now jumping onto the dock of Playa Des Losers. Of course it didn't matter because Fang would catch him


End file.
